November 16, 2014

Hoarding? Can We Talk About This?

Good Sunday evening everyone!

It's cold outside tonight in South Carolina. In fact, it's been super cold for the last three days.. At night we are reaching the freezing mark or below and during the day we are only getting to about 52 degrees or upper 40's.. Yep, my kind of weather.. 

Now that I've given you the weather report let's talk about the subject at hand shall we?
As most of you know I have really gotten into YouTube in the last few years and in the last 5 months making my own videos.. I've also come across on YouTube people who do what they call Dollar Tree Hauls, or GoodWill Hauls, or Salvation Army Hauls. If you search some of those terms on YouTube you will see there are hundreds of people who have videos about this.. 

Well I began to watch some of them a few months back. Now this is where YouTube can be a dangerous place especially is you're a shopaholic like myself. At first I thought, "Wow!, look at all these great deals these people are getting at these stores! I have to go check mine out and see if I can get me some of that!"..I did go to my local Dollar Tree and thankfully, yes I said thankfully, they really didn't carry much of anything I saw on YouTube...

Wondering why I said thankfully? Well, why I do not condemn anyone spending their money they way they chose but for me, I realized that even though it may dollar stores, thrift stores etc. It's still money and all these trips to these dollar, thrift stores add up after a while but it can be deceiving if you're only paying a dollar here, two dollars there. 

Then I started to pay close attention to some of the people who make these videos and show what they bought at these types of stores and listen closely to what they say and while I am really sure most of these people are very, very nice people, atleast they seem to be. The truth is, they have a hoarding problem. Most of them buy things just to buy things. Some of them even say they have no idea what they're going to do with this or that and some have even said they bought an item just to keep it.. What what what? Why would you spend hard earned money on something you really have no use for just to keep it? To me that screams, "I have a hoarding problem"...

It goes right back to my last post which you can find here Why Do I Do This? about unnecessary spending. Now don't get me wrong. I would never tell anyone how to spend their money and hey if you have such a large disposable income to spend it that way then more power to you but the people I've watched don't "seem" to have that kind of life and so I began to look at them with pity in a way. I feel sorry for some of them because it's like they just can't stop themselves and I know what that feels like.. 

How about you? Do you do a lot of shopping at Dollar Stores etc for items you don't really need?

November 13, 2014

Why Do I , We? Do This?

Hello friends, 

Today I wanted to talk about unnecessary spending of money. Does that touch on any nerves with you as it does with me?
Over the last year I have seriously down sized my stuff..Such as clothing, shoes, make up, hand bags etc. I keep looking around thinking to myself you have so much "stuff" you don't "need" all this "stuff" so why do you keep buying this "stuff" when you know you don't have the money for all this "stuff"? Did I say the word "stuff" enough for you? The reason I did is because I am trying to get my point across that all the things we have really are just "stuff"...Non important "stuff" yet, for some, for a lot, very important "stuff".. So I asked myself another question, Why do you put so much importance on this stuff?

My answers sad to say really didn't have much depth to them. The long and short answer is, because I like my stuff , it makes me happy. Which lead me to the next question. Okay, it makes you happy but for how long are you happy? A long time? Momentarily? Does it last? And the sobering answer is, not very long. I get that high that all shopaholics do from the ordering or physically picking out items at a store, to the anticipation of bringing it home or being delivered to the few moments of marveling at my new stuff but after that? All gone...

I knew I had to get serious with myself so the next set of questions and the most important question after all of these is, what are you hiding or running from? What is your shopping habit giving you? What is it filling for you? 

And there it was.. I was facing myself and needed to answer. After some thinking which didn't take long I had my answers. The root of all my over spending. Some people when they are running from grief, anger or being upset turn to eating, some turn to drugs and or alcohol. As for myself, I turn to spending money I don't have to spend. I am running from my poor health of twenty years which is just getting worse, I am running from missing my family who live in another state, I am running from my grief over loss of family, close, close friends, loss of my health, loss of my adulthood to poor health etc..

The other day I was feeling overwhelmed by the loss of Onyx, the news of my husband needing yet another surgery and all of the above which always comes back out when I have any kind of loss. So what did I do? I went straight to the department store and purchased a brand new coat for $60.00 US. I knew I didn't have that money to spend. Money is so tight this month we will be lucky we make it financially until the end of the month and I owe others money I borrowed last month. But just as emotional eaters do I ran to my crutch.. 

Well this morning (Monday) I got myself dressed and returned that coat that I didn't need right back to the department store. Put the money back in my wallet and came straight home. Didn't buy another thing because I knew why I bought that coat in the first place.
So while I recognize now all the reasons why I have a spending problem which is good, it's now time to work on it and as you can see I am. Little by little..

What about you? Do you see yourself in any parts of this post? Please share in the comments I would love to talk about it. 

November 12, 2014

It's Never Easy.... Life Unexpected...

Good evening everyone.. It's Monday night that I am writing this post. Our weather here is a bit bi-polar, not sure if it wants to be up or down. We've been having cooler weather which I love and then today and tomorrow it's in the mid 70's until we drop down again. So as I am writing to you, its a bit cloudy outside as it has been for a few days, humid and warm. I even have my air conditioner on because it hit 78 degrees inside my house. Sipping on my coffee and decided to visit with you for a while. 

In my last post I brought you up to the beginning of October when Lou and I remarried in the Catholic Church. I do hope you got a chance to read that post. Now let's move on a bit.. 

The rest of the month was a bit tough. I had a few doctor appointments which went no where and then on October 28th, the day I've been dreading for a long time finally came.
We lost Onyx on that day.

Most of you know my dogs are like my children. We have spent the last fourteen years together pretty much twenty four -seven. Onyx was fourteen years old just three months shy of his fifteenth birthday. He'd been having trouble with his back legs for quite some time due to age. Well on October 28th Onyx began to scream in pain and I knew in my heart it wasn't good and it wouldn't end well. It seems that he popped a disc in his spine straight up into his back to where you could feel it if you ran your hand over his back. 

We rushed him into the vet but knew at his age there wasn't much that could be done. Surgery was offered but the chances of him making it through were very slim. Pain medication and steroids were offered but Onyx also had a very bad case of colitis and we knew that within twenty-four hours of beginning the steroids he would have then been bleeding internally. So in reality, there were no real options. So we lost him on the 28th and on the 30th I received his ashes back. Yes I have my dogs cremated.

To say I was devastated is an understatement. I knew that the reality was this day would be coming sooner rather than later but I just never expected it that quickly and it to be that day but then again, do we ever? I miss him every single day, I still cry and I expect I will for some time to come.  I do have Bailey, Shadow, Matty, Jake & Lizzy to still take care of but it doesn't matter how long or short you've had your pet, it never gets easier losing one of them..

The week before we lost Onyx, my husband, as most of you know, has had 7 back surgeries. 

The last one was in 2012 where he had surgery up at Duke University in NC in which they reconstructed his spine using steel rods and screws from the tailbone up to the mid chest area. We thought we were good. Not so much.. Life unexpected, as it usually is, has thrown us another serious curve ball. Lou had heard a very loud crack in his back in the beginning of the month but with everything going on with the wedding he tried to ignore it as much as he could. Finally, it could be ignored no more. So he and his best friend Bill trucked on up to Duke last week. And unfortunately that crack that he heard weeks back turned out to be a cracked rod in his back.. The titanium steel rod, which I still can't wrap my brain around how that kind of material can just snap as it did, snapped directly in the middle of the rod. So now, he is slated for surgery Dec 11th, the day after his 57th birthday. Nice birthday present aye? 

Through all of this I am trying the best I can to trust in the Lord. Understanding that He allows all things to happen and accepting His will in all things but asking for strength and courage to accept and do His will in all things.

Well friends, I think thats it. I think you are all caught up from my very last post on February of this year. I hope you will continue with me on my adventure I call my life through my blog and I will be writing to you soon :)